I honestly just like giving people practical strategies to make enough money to live the happiest, freest, funnest life they can.
Since 2016 I’ve worked with more than 300 service-providers in my program, Yay for Clients™ and now in my high-touch coaching program, Yay for 100K™. These entrepreneurs (mostly women) come from all sorts of backgrounds and have all kinds of businesses as coaches, creatives, consultants, and other services.
Over time, I’ve come to see that there are two things that hold my students back more than anything else:
If you’re already nodding your head thinking, “Yep, that’s me!” I want you to know that you are not alone.
In this post, I want to tackle PEOPLE PLEASING. (We can tackle perfectionism at a later date. That’s a whole beast of a topic!)
If you currently suffer from the desire to please your clients at any cost, please read this post in full. It’s crafted in such a way to slowly chip away at the belief structure that is keeping you stuck in the people pleasing trap.
The urge to people please comes from the beliefs that you hold about working with clients.
Here are a few beliefs that I’ve seen pop up a lot over the years:
DO YOU RESONATE WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE BELIEFS?
LET ME KNOW IN A COMMENT BELOW!
First of all I want you to know: There is nothing WRONG with having these beliefs. I do not believe that these beliefs are good or bad. I believe that every belief has consequences and my goal in this post is to show you the consequences of these beliefs and offer some alternative beliefs that may serve you better in getting the results you crave.
So how does people pleasing show up? Let’s talk about the 5 major ways that I see people pleasing ooze out for service providers…
What does “bending over backwards” look like? Here are the things that I see entrepreneurs do in an effort to please their clients:
This comes from the belief that every client is unique and requires a unique package. Over customizing your services comes in the form of:
You worry that clients won’t say yes to working with you unless you are the most affordable option, so you don’t charge as much as you know you “should”.
Maybe you’ve sent proposals before and didn’t get a response.
Maybe you’ve experienced the crushing feeling of having a potential client tell you, “We decided to hire someone else”.
It must have been the price, you tell yourself. If I had charged less, maybe I would have gotten the client.
PITA stands for “Pain in the Ass”.
These are the clients who push your boundaries, make ridiculous requests, email you all hours of the day, and have unrealistic expectations of you.
We’ve all had PITA clients before.
We’ve all been PITA clients before.
When you fuel your business with a desperation to make money, you have no choice but to say yes to less-than ideal clients. (I talk about this in depth in my free 6-part video series on the Feast and Famine Cycle).
⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ Your fear of setting boundaries and expectations with your clients increases the likelihood that perfectly good clients will become PITA clients because you’re being a push over instead of a boss. Your clients want you to be in charge and tell them what to do.
Let’s say you’re a career coach. You’re on a call with a prospective client when they ask, “Do you offer unlimited email support?”
A wave of fear runs through your body. You’re convinced that if you say “no”, the client won’t work with you. You’ve made the assumptions that (a) the client knows what they need and (b) the fact that they are asking the question means that it’s a must-have for them.
You’ve never offered unlimited email support before, but now it feels necessary. You say yes. You need the money.
While you’re working with this client, they email you several times a week (often late at night with desperate, urgent sounding messages). You grow resentful.
“I hate client work” you start to think.
But it’s not the client work you hate. It’s the fact that you added this feature to your services that is completely unnecessary. It’s the people pleasing that you hate.
Are you ready for a harsh truth?
The reason we “people please” is not because we care about other people. It’s because we want to control what other people think of us.
I can hear the feathers ruffling. Before you get mad at me, hear me out…
I’m no saying that you don’t care about your clients.
I’m not saying that you are egotistical.
I 100% believe that if you suffer from chronic people pleasing, you more than likely have the best of intentions.
I also 100% believe that if you suffer from chronic people pleasing, it stems from the ego being afraid of what other people think of you.
People pleasing often leads to codependence. We bend over backwards for clients because we want to feel needed. This enables our clients to be come dependent on us instead of taking responsibility for themselves. This is not serving your clients. It’s actually preventing your clients from getting the results they want.
I could be wrong but…
💥 I’m assuming that you want to make a full-time income from your business so that you can live comfortably (or even better than comfortably).
💥 I’m assuming that you want your clients to experience a transformation and get results from working with you.
💥 I’m assuming that you want to get great testimonials, feedback, and referrals from your clients.
What if I told you that people pleasing is NOT the way to make those things happen?
What if I told you that people pleasing is actually preventing those things from happening?
But first, I want to hear from you!
⬇️ Let me know in a comment below ⬇️
This is THE MAP showing you exactly what steps you need to take to go from feast + famine to booking consistent clients. It’s easier than you think. Print it out, put it on your desk, and use it to assess your current services.
Take this short quiz so that I can personally recommend the exact next steps that you should take strategy-wise to increase your income, book more clients, and create more freedom from your business.
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